nonsense

what an incredible beach day! got their (fairly) early, got a nice deep burntan, and the best part about it was that it felt like every other beach day i’ve ever had in my entire life. all these 22 years. it always feels the same. the suns just as bright, the sands just as hot, it smells like hot pavement and evaporating fish guts. no matter what it will always be the beach. love that. i want this summer to be incredible, but in my experience, that happens without realizing it. i’m semi concerned because nothing could really compare to last summer…. but we shall see. nothing is certain.

wait i take that back, i am certainly graduating in less than 2 weeks. bananas. moving out of my beautiful apartment that has been filled with the best experiences of my life. happiest times, sad times, firsts and seconds. best friends, family, love. kitties. god, locking up that door for the last time is going to be hard. but new possibilities ahead… 

last week of college classes. where did the time go? yesterday i was a scared weird freshman pissed off at everything. these were the best 4 years of my life thus far. and that’s in large part due to certain people. so thank you. 

alright world. the word is COLLUSION. like a pinky swear. or Enron. or price fixing.

but i don’t really want to screen print about enron or corporate america. I was thinking…. KIM JONG IL. however relevant or irrelevant. maybe, perched atop a cheeseburger. or wedding cake married to elizabeth taylor. holding a basketball.

why do i keep printing people. um. GIVE ME IDEAS PLEASE. i’ll be spending the night coming up with sketches.

also, 2 papers and 1 screen print till i’m done with college FOR-EV-ER.

baaai

ELLO infinite abyss. this week was wacko. a lot has been accomplished and i am at my wits end. tomorrow is the climax of my college career i guess, yes? and i am sort of expecting it to be all of these things and….i hope it is. but i am anxious for it. 

beyonder that, hai. 

“grow old with me along the sea, the best is yet to be”

“home is the sailor from the sea”

“twas heaven here with you”

just a few quotes from benches along spring lake boardwalk. makes my heart melt. 

crazy week Commence. back and forth almost every day between philly and jersey. work and class and graduations and seniors shows. print the boards find a flashy dress glue my piece of furniture. oh and get over this kidney infection. nbd. i’d love to survive long enough to make it till friday. these antibiotics are making me feel shitty as hell and crazy. 

it’s just another (miniature) example of being tested by life. and in my experience it always results in something amazing. 

the thing is about life is that i’m only 22 and i’ve had such full life living experiences that 80 year olds never even get to have! i feel really lucky. and it just makes me want to have more and more of them. 

you know what it’s like to feel warm wet nightime air 

new jersey, the beach, summer level heat, jorts, parker house. try and find something that could make life better right now. Go. 

I don’t know much about this tumbling thing except that it’s a place where I can write about the things rolling around in my brain. 

LIFE IS A WEIRD THING RIGHT NOW OK? 

The thing is, graduation is like a big scary day that will come and go and then leave you with college loans to repay and no job. Living with the parents again regressing pretty much back into high school. Slowly the knowledge you paid $260,000 will leak out of your ear like goo and collect in a puddle on the floor. 

However! Right at this very moment there are so many good things. Maybe I don’t have a job and no hope or desire for a career worthy future (right now), but I will be building a screen print studio in my basement. I will navigate the shit rocket/crap wagon/car cross country. I will eventually find another waitressing job even if it’s at Perkins again. There is not one obligation that I have! For the first time in 22 years of living I’m a freebird. I can be whomever and do whatever I please, and that’s just frabjous. I am blessed with LOVE in my life, great friends, great family, new friends, new adventures. 

So two things about today that just lift me up: The anticipation for driving in my car, by myself, for days, across the country. Passing through towns and cities I’ve never heard of. Seeing those freaky Jeepers Creepers towns that I never thought I would. Getting to spend some quality alone time with myself and the radio. The excitement for such events is overwhelming! Oh and yeah I guess it will be fun when I get to where I’m going ;) Maybe the crapwagon will survive, maybe it wont, but it will be an adventure!

And screen print. I finally feel like an artist again. Or for once. It might be an amateur attempt but it’s the first form of art making that is limitless in my mind. So many possibilities with it. I just want to sit forever and experiment. 

THATS ALL BYE.